are all (or at least, most) LDRs destined to be doomed?

*sigh* another LDR breakup. i spent the bulk of my evening with robin, ken(neth) and jude. ken broke up with his gf the previous night, and needless to say, he was devastated. i think he was really going for long term, and planning for marriage. he really loved his gf. but sadly, the gf yi qing bie lian. it pains us to see him this way. and he was trying his very best to put up a brave front of us. when he knew that i liked to bite ppl, he kept asking me to bite him & he kept saying vulgarities and things to irritate him on purpose, so that i’ll like punch and beat him. using physical pain to (hopefully) reduce the emotional pain. so gek sim right?

we were very worried for him. earlier in the day, he skipped lessons, and asked robin abt suicidal stuff. like if we see him at matilda bay (a very nice beach behind the sch campus), we’ll know what’s he there for. he’s scaring us.

while in the car (jude drove), waiting for robin’s pizza, we were joking ard and there was a song on the radio (can’t remember which song it was, but it was a sentimental one). then robin stopped me, and pointed to ken. he was sobbing quietly. i signalled jude to change the song immediately, gave him a friendly rub on his arm and shoulders. we felt so helpless then. we couldn’t do anything to relieve him. *now, the more i think of last night, the more i want to cry. coz it’s really sad*

the guys drank a 6-pack when we returned to hall, then robin and i did laundry, while keeping him company. herman came to join us as well. he was trembling terribly when we returned to our rooms coz the dryer took an hour. i went back to my room to print out some stuff for my project while the guys returned to their rooms. after printing my stuff, i went up to the guys’ rooms.

ken was asleep, on robin’s bed. i guess he was really tired, he didn’t sleep the previous night. how to sleep?? *sigh* so we left him in robin’s room, door slightly ajar, and we went to ken’s room (he unlocked his door earlier). we (robin, herman and me) chatted till ard 530, while i checked on him periodically. i was afraid that he wasn’t sleeping, just putting up a front. he really needs some rest. i went back to my room for some proper rest at 6am, after making sure the rest of the guys were alright (robin couldn’t really sleep on ken’s bed.. not his own bed mah.. haha). we packed his room for him as well. hung up all his clothes, tidied his table. and snacked on his food =P. we were really hungry. LOL

woke up at 8am, washed up and went down for breakfast. i had project discussion at 10am in sch, so i couldn’t miss that. the whole time, i was worrying abt ken coz i went to check on the guys after breakfast, before i left for sch. the guys were still fast asleep. but because ken had like mild suicidal thoughts, i was afraid that he’d just wake up and wander off alone. at this point, we don’t want to leave him alone.

i ended discussion early coz robin had class at 11, while ken’s day starts at 12pm. so i had to get back early, so that he’s not alone. *you can really see that i’m scared* bought some lunch and hot chocolate drink for him coz he didn’t have breakfast. went up to his room immediately when i reached hall. lucky thing he was alright. awake, but not refreshed. persuaded him to go for class, and left him to change (it was 15 to 12 when i reached hall, so he didn’t have much time).

hopefully, he’s better now. i mean, i know it’s not easy. breakups are NEVER easy. perhaps this is why i refuse to get into a r/s. but… *being practical daph* it’s not the end of the world. i wouldn’t mind if he cries and pours everything out. at least, he gets it off his chest and he doesn’t bottle his emotions within him. he just doesn’t want to. the more he says he’s alright (when he definitely doesn’t look like it), the more we are worried for him.

daph shld just go be a nun, so that she doesn’t have to go thru all these. even though love can be sweet. but, it’s also bitter at the same time. *big sigh*


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