at 4.45am

finally, the tears have dried, and the heart has turned cold. finally awakening to the cold, harsh truth that i’ve been dating a coward for this past 1 month, who doesn’t even dare to do the dirty job of breaking up with me.

since he doesn’t want to do the job, let me do it. i’d gladly do so, and get rid of him and get my life back, since it is super evident now that he lost interest in me.

i hate to say this, but this is just the same as the previous. is it my luck that i’m dating cowards and wimps, or that i’m just too strong-headed and independent that these guys just resemble useless wimps to me? e’an was right all along “trust your intuitions”.

not saying that i’m miss universe quality, or i’m super nice and good-looking and eligible, but i think i really deserve better.

sigh, life goes on. and i think my life before him, IS much better. don’t worry people, i’ll be fine.

=========

i owe peng, kenny & e’an loads man. my middlemen. it’s my shit, but yet they’re delivering my shit for me. where to find such nice ppl, you tell me?

i feel really bad to be bothering them, esp peng at this hour (it’s 6.10am already!). but i don’t want to talk to him directly. i’m still trying to avoid a full-front confrontation coz i know i can’t keep my temper in check, and so can’t he. i don’t want us to quarrel and fight over msn coz nothing good’s going to come out of it, problems don’t get solved.

and sigh, i know kenny & e’an are going to kill me, but i really don’t wish for things to end so badly. yeah, my heart’s hard and i’m tough on him now, but i’d be lying if i say that i don’t care a shit abt him and no more feelings now.

but it’s something that we just can’t avoid, eh? he messed up my life, it’s payback? people who really know me well, would know i live by “don’t come and fucking mess with me. if you do, i’ll fuck your life back, big time”.

more updates later.
-6.10am

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