gaping wound

i still need something to fill up that hole, that’s still bleeding. not gushing blood now, but blood is still trickling slowly.

i know things can’t be the same, at least not now. and i know kenny & e’an (esp e’an) are angry with him for me. but i just can’t bring myself to be angry with him. when i look at him, i just feel disappointed. not anger. ironic, coz he treated me way worse than kenneth, but i’m not even mad at him.

the urge to touch him, to look at him in the eyes, was just so strong, i had to walk away. stay away from him.

even after we’ve broken up, he still doesn’t want to talk to me. disappointment again.

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