the endless chase for?

hey people. ever wondered why you’re doing what you’re doing now? i’m not referring to you surfing onto my blog, or just surfing the net in general. what i’m talking about is your main goal in life. you might be working your ass off in a MNC, or studying till your hair turn grey (or probably even white, depending on how stressed you are). all for what? and in the process of doing what you’re doing now, are you so caught up that you fail to notice other things in your life? your friends, family, nature?

so anyway, i was surfing friendster and looking at people’s photos and profile. it got me thinking. friends come and go. my friends change, as i change. i mean, the people whom i term as my friends change, not their characters change. i’ve neglected so many people over the past few years since secondary school.

the never-ending chases for good education, good fun, good career, good boyfriend, good friends… my goals change every time i attain something. and i don’t even know whether that’s what i really want.

i’m so scared to find out that i’m just another typical singaporean. working hard for my future, so much that i’m neglecting my present. i bet even if i’ve reached the future i’m working for, i wouldn’t stop for a while, absorb all the goodness, but rather, i’d keep moving forward, striving for my future’s future.

i wish i have the ability to slow down and smell the flowers (literally), relax under the sun. i wish i could. i wish i have the courage to say sorry to those people whom i’ve neglected over the years and “could we be friends again”.

it’s ironic that i’m ending today’s entry on this note, yet i’m going back to my books, and continue doing what i’ve been doing for the past 13 years. and yes, it’s ok if you don’t understand this entry. i don’t either. i’m just babbling nonsense. and kenny, yes, i’m very stressed.

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