hello stranger. :)

i’m sorry. i’m not that magnanimous to share you with her. if i can’t have it, i rather not. i’m sorry for being selfish. i’m sorry for being weak. i’m sorry for not being able to tell you face to face. i’ve thought it through, thought it hard. you were right. the decision to distance ourselves from each other is right.

i obviously do like you, and i do realise that i’m falling way faster than i had expected, which is why it hurts me to even write this entry. you cannot give me any assurance at all which is all so important to me. you don’t know who you like more. you can’t even say what is going to happen if there’s no flat. so what happens from there? are you going to try again and apply for another flat? and what will happen to me?

do you really like me? THE FLAT IS NOT A PROBLEM if you really do. if you really do, then obviously it isn’t enough to make you reconsider your choice of getting married. are there any other major issues that i have no knowledge of?

i don’t know if i’m going to avoid you or not. i really don’t know. i’ll just take this as yet another obstacle that God has given me to make me stronger. it’s not going to be easy, but i’ll try and i’m sure i’ll survive. i’ve survived 2 failed relationships, another one wouldn’t be that difficult, after all, it wasn’t a full fledged relationship. i believe in fate. if you are what God is giving me, i’ll still get it eventually. maybe not now, but eventually. i’ll just take this time off to think about what i really want. maybe at the end of the day, all i have is just a crush on you, nothing serious.

don’t you dare to quit the company. don’t you even dare think about it! i’ll beat you at your own game since i’m not confirmed yet. if there’s anyone who is to leave, company or the relationship, it will be me.

don’t need to tell me you’re sorry. what we have between us is way over that already. i know you are. just do me a favour yeah? treat her right.

take care.

love love,
PTL

P/S: i thought it was quite ironic that you requested the mp3, lips of an angel, from me previously. =D

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