it takes one step to have the whole equation wrong

pls don’t judge me. i’m just a normal girl who wants the same things as you do. i may be morally wrong. there may be something good, there may be not. who is to say what lies in the future for sure?

i think i talk a lot. i’m such a typical girl, who blabbers on and on and on and on. like as if talking to jac daily isn’t enough, i met up with xtine last night and we chatted from 11pm till 2am. we could have gone on longer, but i desperately needed the loo. =P anyway, i was telling xtine about all the updates in my life since i haven’t seen her for ages.

we both agreed that this is so not me. never in my dreams have i thought myself to be in this position. it’s unbelievable. xtine sees the difference in me when i talk about him, to him, but deep down inside us, the nagging feeling still remains. i wish life was like chemistry. you just gotta do it by a set of instructions. take a wrong step, you’ll see the results immediately and you’ll know what corrective step to take.

every single day i wake up and go to bed thinking about the same thing. friends and family who read my blog, talk to me on msn and sms me daily, just to make sure i’m alright. i thank God for them. i don’t know if i can ever go through it alone, if not for their love, support and advice. and though what i’m doing now is not morally right, they aren’t judging me.

thank you so much.

——-

850pm

i have this nagging feeling that they will get the flat. i couldn’t stop thinking about it the whole day.

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