hey you

i’m sorry that i called at the wrong time… just got a little worried seeing that it’s been at least a working day already (8 hours or so?). i’m like going psycho already, jumping at every slightest sound or vibration my phone makes. super jumpy now.

call me if you want to talk or see me… or see you in office tmr.

————-

i couldn’t sleep, so i decided to come online to update again. our relationship is based on trust and you know i won’t lie to you, can’t lie to you either. i couldn’t tell you the truth earlier because i know you are facing a dilemma and i don’t want to make it worse, don’t want to affect your sleep.

to tell you i’m ok, i’m perfectly fine, it’s a lie. as much as i’d like to tell myself that i have long prepared myself for this day, preparation is not enough. i thought we had something special. i wasn’t prepared to hear what you told me and that was why i was quiet for a long time. i was really registering that into my mind because it is a huge shock to me. what went thru my mind immediately was, if by trying to kill herself, you go back to her, would it affect you if i tell you i’m also willing to die? *just kidding. no guts and not so silly to do that*

i wish i could cry, at least i would feel better afterwards. but somehow, my eyes just get hot without any tears. anyway, i promised you that i wouldn’t cry too. as i’ve said in my sms, i respect your decision. you chose her and i’m going to withdraw.

i don’t know why i’m going to tell you this but i just decided to be truthful to you one last time: i love you very much and thank you for the past 1-2 mths. sometimes, love alone isn’t enough. i don’t blame you, really wish with all my heart that you and her have a happy ending. =)

love,
me

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