I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. not angry, not pissed. just disappointed.
it’s just disappointment, one after another. had you not promised to answer my call at anytime of the day if i needed you? had you not said your promise to me still stands? are you doing this on purpose so that i’d leave without much pain? or are you doing this because you had enough of me and this is what you really feel? was it all just a lie?
wen, i miss you so much. i miss you so much that i’m willing to forget about everything and just continue the way we were before. my heart hurts so much when you ignore me. wen, if you’d just respond to me… please… let’s be truthful to each other one last time… tell me what to do to get thru all these… tell me if you want me as much as i want you. every night i wish you would be there to just hug me, to wipe my tears away and tell me everything is going to be alright. but every night, it’s just me alone, keeping a vigilant watch on my phone, hoping that you’d call me back or sms me.
Decided to record down all the sweet smses received from you… pity I didn’t have this idea earlier… there were so many more in the past. I’m going to update this post when I get more sweets cos my phone memory’s too small for all the care you’ve shown me! =D New items in RED!
this entry is going to be like super long if you keep sending me sweet msgs! LOL I’m so easily satisfied huh?
7 May 08 3.42pm
It is not over yet. There are more happy moments to come. 🙂 Trust me.
7 May 08 10.50am
… Yea nice to just hug you and lie on your shoulder.
6 May 08 10.45pm -MSN
cos the time i had spent with you was really a good and i really cherish the times i(‘ve) spent with you.
6 May 08 5.11pm
me: as i washed my hair, i smelt you… did you breathe into my hair just now?
yea 🙂 your shampoo is very nice.
5 May 08 11.32pm
Hey if you tired go sleep. I don’t feel good if you wait up for me..
me: no.. promised to wait… anyway, how you know i’m not sleeping yet?
let’s call it gut instinct. And I know I’m right. I just don’t want you to be tired. I know you had a long night yesterday. So better sleep early.
5 May 08 9.04pm
Call from you before your drinking session.
5 May 08 7.59pm
me: hey, just want to let you know… even if things don’t end up the way i wish it would in the end, i had fun while it lasted. =)
Sorry just saw your sms. I… just want you to be happy. Although I don’t know what will happen, but I hope you are happy now. And I will still 疼 you.
5 May 08 4.22pm
No… Don’t misunderstand. I just don’t want to let you be hurt again.
5 May 08 1.17am
And no he won’t be late tomorrow. =) Cause he got breakfast appointment with a lovely lady.
5 May 08 12.43am
You don’t do already la. Just go to bed. You look tired. Don’t stress yourself too much. Just go sleep. Hugs.
4 May 08 4.45am
I know you are going to say loh soh. But. Still sorry. Love. Night
4 May 08 4.42am
I just don’t want you to be sad.
2 May 08 11.39pm
Not really… Just reading. Then thought send you a sms.
what i like about you is…
how you fuss over me when my gastric problem acts up
how you can read my mind and know what i want to say or do
how you remember every one of my preferences *almost*
how you can *bleep* your vulgarities sometimes – it’s so hilarious
how you bring me to all the nice food places to satisfy my food cravings
how we have such good 默契 – sometimes
how you make me smile and laugh
how you care for me, no matter what
how you can sing to almost every song in my iPod
how forgiving you are with me
how blessed i feel when i’m with you
how your arm curls around the small of my back
how you smell my smelly hair and still say it smells nice -_-”
how you get all so shy when i tease you about your fantasies about me… but seriously, i’m glad that it was the former and not the latter when i smsed you the embarrassing question.
how you kiss my forehead gently
how supportive you are when it comes to work
damn, the list just keeps getting longer! 😉
P/S: you can always leave me notes if you want to… Jac’s not going to kill you ok?? And no, she doesn’t hate you. Don’t be silly! *frowns at you for being so paranoid*
P/P/S: I find myself missing you more and more each day. To the extent of driving myself crazy. I’m really scared. When I think of the inevitable, my eyes just get hot, trying to blink back tears. I know you can’t promise anything, and I don’t want promises either. It’s just… i don’t know if either one of us can do anything. OMG, i’m just one paranoid and insecure freak.
P/P/P/S: as i wait for your call since afternoon, my stomach’s in a knot. nervous from all the waiting and anticipation. not sure what to expect.