It’s not easy but it doesn’t have to be complex either

I think I’m just absolutely guttered. Just when I told Joyce earlier this evening I deal with adverse situations in extremities, I have to do this again. I don’t think I can talk about it face to face because it’s either I clam up or I have a major outburst of emotions.

But I know I cannot do this alone. To plan for a wedding and a successful marriage is stressful enough. I can plan a dream wedding alone, but what’s the point when I don’t have a willing groom. I cannot plan a wedding, and hope that my groom will be ready by the time the wedding date rolls around. I cannot believe how naive I have been. To start preparation and get everyone around me all excited when the most important person in this marriage, besides me, is not ready at all.

If it is an external issue, we can fix it.

  • The odd shaped room: we have so many options laid out for us. I’m sure we will find a solution somehow, someway.
  • Wedding date: as long as the date is not an extremely bad date for our union, I’m sure we will find a date that we can agree upon.
  • Venue: I’m not too fussed about it. I know we envision the same thing for our wedding. I don’t want to fuss too much over a wedding that is going to take place on one evening, but I’d rather spend more time and effort on making a life-long marriage work.

“I don’t know if I’ll be ready by then. It’s all going too fast. But I also don’t want to lose you.”

As long as the heart is willing, I believe even 3 months will be sufficient to plan a wedding that belongs to just the two of us. But right now, I can have all the time in the world to plan, but it would still not be enough. I don’t know if I’ll still be around by the time my groom is ready. I hope so. But if he’s taking too long to feel ready, perhaps it’s not the right time, or the right one. </3

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